Older than Joe’s Paleozoic worm fossil, sharp as a marshmallow

QUICK – Secretary of State Anthony Blinken gets an inflatable rubber ring for someone to sit on.

I’m pretty sure Tony has a pile of hemorrhoids the size of Mount Vesuvius after watching President Joe Biden wince at the APEC news conference because he got it wrong.

Or could he just know that every time old Joe opens his mouth it’s a big squealing disaster?

’Mr. President… would you still refer to President Xi as a dictator?’ asked a reporter on Wednesday night.

A camera showed Blinken sitting in the front row of the audience. You can literally see him girding his loins for Biden’s response.

„There he is,” blurted Joe. 'He’s a dictator, he’s running a communist country based on a completely different form of government than ours.’

Oh! You were so close, Tony.

You almost pulled the needle and pulled off a carefully choreographed international summit with a genocidal communist dictator. But alas, loose-lipped Biden sank the ship of state again.

Is it any wonder that even the White House staff decided that Joe was unfit to order the exit, let alone campaign for president?

And so reports veteran journalist, establishment elbow-rubber and DC canapé-nibbler Jonathan Martin.

„Biden cannot govern and campaign like previous incumbents,” Martin wrote for Politico.

Here’s the kicker: '[Biden] He simply doesn’t have the ability to do it, and his staff doesn’t trust him to try, as they make clear by blocking him from the press.

His ’employees’ 'don’t trust him’?

Yes, that’s right.

These days it’s hard for a president to make a public appearance without a senior moment.

As world leaders posed for a photo-op on Thursday night, Joe spun around, looked confused, then awkwardly shook the hand of Indonesia’s president, who was as stunned as anyone else.

Yes, Biden is as sharp as a marshmallow and voters know it.

How deadly?

Martin points to two new polls that show President Brune’s face is bested by President Chito’s face in key 2024 battleground states.

Yet Biden’s lackeys, flacks and embalmers publicly say this is no cause for alarm: We’re a year away from the election, you silly ducks!

Sure, but the president is older than a Paleozoic worm fossil, and until a crack team of anti-aging scientists figure out how to reverse the decline, he won’t be improving on the stump anytime soon.

Check out recent risqué gaffes like this one on Veterans Day when he pulled a card from his pocket to count the 7,036 service members who died in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The problem is, it’s Veterans Day, not Memorial Day. And the heroes he pays tribute to are very much alive.

Biden’s biggest political liability is one he can’t fix — his age.

He turns 81 on Monday. He turns 82 next year after Americans vote.

Now if the White House doesn’t trust him to handle the rigors of the campaign, what position will he be in?

Additionally, the world is currently exploding on many fronts and Biden’s incompetence may make people even more nervous about the prospect of their military heroes being absorbed into conflicts from Gaza to Taiwan.

What will the Democrats do?

There are proposals to get Bill and Hillary Clinton off their skirt-chasing and self-pity trip to help shoulder the burden and shepherd us all along the path to peace in the Middle East.

Yes, that’s right. Me Too and I have never come as close to a heated battle as Chris Christie does on a hot plate at the $5 Golden Corral All-You-Eat Buffet.

There are suggestions that Biden is sneaking into a weird cross-party tickle ceremony with Joe Manchin, Mitt Romney and Liz Cheney.

As Politico’s Jonathan Martin writes: Biden 'must tame Manchin with grace and keep him in the Democratic tent.’

Wrong idea!

We saw what happens when Grandpa Munster suppresses women and children on the campaign trail.

Well, I have a plan.

When an incumbent president campaigns for re-election from the White House, it is called a 'Rose Garden Campaign’.

For Biden, I’m coining a new term: 'nursing home campaign.’

It will be wonderful.

Over canned peaches and jello in the Lincoln bedroom, President Zoom could hold raucous campaign rallies.

He debates Donald Trump via text message. They may need to hire granddaughter Naomi to operate that innovative device they call the iPhone.

And instead of Joe shaking the rope line and kissing the kids, they would bring him the rope line. Hang his arm out of the Oval Office window and tell his fans to line up.

Can it work? Unfortunately, no.

It is not a messenger or a message.

We’ve all lived through the drama and the accusations, the pandemic and its aftermath, and guess what?

For most people, finances are still bad, and the world is in disarray.

Neither the lack of oppo research nor negative news about Trump fuels the nation’s hatred of this degenerate dolt.

Our inability to afford groceries, our fear of losing world wars, and the fact that Americans who seem to enjoy fighting for the forgotten man are running over cities with criminal hobos desperate for a boy.

Four more years is a little too much for the forgotten man.

People are so engrossed in this cuppa joe.

So, be my guest.

Go full Weekend at Biden, strap Joe on Jason Momoa’s back and let them loose at the Democratic Convention. It doesn’t make a difference.

Americans will not be fooled by a juvenile list of stupid amendments.

The Biden presidency has gone flat.