Definitely Amy: Cancer and Me

In May 2023, Strictly Come Dancing expert Amy Dowden was given the earth-shattering news that she had breast cancer. In an instant, life was disrupted and thrown into uncertainty. She discovered a lump the day before her honeymoon, and shortly after, her fears were confirmed. She and her husband, Ben, had hopes of starting a family one day. Later that year, she was due to return to Strictly – something she had dreamed of being a part of since she was a girl. Instead, she faced the most tumultuous year of her life and a battle with her health, fertility and getting back into dancing.

This deeply personal documentary follows Amy six days after her diagnosis. Hoping to make others understand the reality of cancer at a young age, she made the brave decision to share her experiences. Amy never expected this to happen to her at the age of 32.

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Interview with Amy Dowden

Calling the cameras after such a life-changing diagnosis was an extraordinarily brave decision. Can you tell us a little about how the documentary came about and why you wanted to make it?

At the time I was filming my BBC series Dare to Dance. The producer (who produced and directed this documentary) could tell something wasn’t right when I was waiting for my results earlier that week. I got to know the group, after my Crohn’s documentary, the impact it had and how it made me accept my condition for the first time. I immediately realized that maybe I could make a difference.

I never thought I would be diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 32. I only found it because I was testing myself. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be here now because I had grade 3, which is a very aggressive cancer. If this raises awareness, if ten people watch this documentary and start checking themselves, I could save a life.

Being in the public eye, I knew I couldn’t shy away from it. It was scary and intimidating and I had friends and family say 'Are you sure you want to do this? But it also gave me a focus on everything.

We see in the documentary that you’ve been sharing your story on social media since the beginning, what has it been like to experience the overwhelming response it’s received?

Unbelievable. Many people reached out to me so I didn’t feel alone. I was only 32 years old, going through fertility treatments and chemotherapy and hair loss.

This girl, Kelly, messaged me to tell me she was going through the same thing as me and I didn’t feel alone anymore. As bad as it was, she thanked me for sharing it. It immediately gave me courage and I did the right thing.

I wanted to be honest. I don’t want people to think that I don’t exist because of my Crohn’s disease. Before the chemotherapy, a young lady – again – late 20s – had just finished chemo, so I remember texting her with so many questions. It became a real community for me online, which helped me equally. If I hadn’t talked about it on social media, I believed and never would have.

We see your best friend Jenny, who had breast cancer, supporting you through your first chemo session – what are your memories of that time?

I was scared. I was scared. I was emotional. I don’t want to do that. I definitely wanted to be with my best friends who were sitting in rehearsals. I don’t want to lose my hair. I don’t want to get sick. I don’t think I would have walked through those doors of chemo if it wasn’t for Jenny. She kept saying 'look at me now’ 'you can do it’. I had a big cry before. There was a loud cry when we got to the room. A big cry when the chemo started. I realized it wasn’t as bad as I thought, but apparently all the symptoms come later. I remember it being the scariest I’ve ever been in my entire life.

You bravely let the cameras follow your fertility treatment. Can you tell us a little bit about why that was needed and what’s going on with it?

I had a hormonal cancer so they had to put me through menopause because my hormones were feeding the cancer. My whole body was feeding cancer. But because I was doing chemotherapy and it’s amazing like chemotherapy, it destroys a lot of cells in your body. Your eggs, your ovaries, everything can be damaged and there’s no need to restart.

Since we got married, the question we get asked the most is 'when are you having a baby?’ My body can’t go through that now. You produce so many hormones when you’re pregnant that I’m at a higher risk of my cancer coming back. Of course we want children, but we don’t know yet. There are many options, and we are grateful for that.

With fertility and stress in general, you never know what someone is going through. People should keep that in mind. We must be educated.

The film documents your struggle to return to the dance floor. That’s been your primary goal, and why has dance been an important driver again when you’ve had a really tumultuous year?

For me, dance has always brought me through dark times. When I dance, I forget all my worries, stress and pains in life. That’s where I’m happiest.

When you are told you have cancer, in those words, with a click of the fingers, your life changes. You have everything taken away from you. My dance has taken away from me what I love most in the world. I’ve definitely worked my whole life and I’m not going to let cancer stop me from going back. Recovering from chemo was horrible, miserable. But the desire to join the dance floor again kept me motivated and determined.

Everyone is different. There is no textbook on how to deal with cancer. There’s no right or wrong way – you have to do what’s right for you – but I needed that goal. I needed that purpose. Because I don’t know what I would have done otherwise.

The documentary is very raw and honest and doesn’t shy away from your most difficult times. What would you say has been the hardest part of the last 15 months?

Everything has become a little. Everything I loved so much was taken away from me, my dancing was taken away from me. I think this is horrible for your family and your loved ones watching you. It was very difficult. To see the pain in my parents’ eyes, to see them suffer from me.

Tell us about the news that February was symptom-free.

The feeling was incredible. There are no words to describe it. The relief was overwhelming. Everything I went through was very helpful. I felt like my life could go on again.

In the film we see you return to Strictly with an emotional twist to dance without a wig in last year’s finale. How special and important was it to you?

A strict return is my default and what I need. Especially doing chemo. After getting through the bad days, I was able to come back with my best friends. I am very grateful to the producers, dancers and the entire team who took me in and looked after me.

Going without a wig made me feel so powerful that I didn’t realize the impact at the time. It felt like ripping off the plaster, I could be Amy, nothing else mattered now. I don’t need to hide anymore. I may be accepted. I think it’s to show the reality and impact of what’s really going on.

Knowing what this has done to society and to people undergoing chemo but also to alopecia, and to hair loss in girls and boys. It’s one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done.

We are delighted to hear you are returning to this year’s series. How do you feel about that?

Yes! I am very excited. I am excited for every element. It feels like my first year all over again. I am excited to meet the entire team, the costumes, the choreography, the celebrities and the judges. Every part of the show, I rave about. Everyone laughs at me because I keep smiling. I am very grateful for this opportunity.

How has everything that happened in the last 15 months changed you or made you see things differently? What would you say to Amy 15 months ago?

Hold on to life. Nikki, a remarkable young woman in her 30s that I connected with online, sadly passed away from breast cancer during my treatment last year. She always said 'go crap life’ and that’s what she did. I am determined to live up to her motto. I learned that my hair, my eyebrows, my eyelashes were being taken away from me. I’ve gained two stone, I’ve been on steroids, chemo, a broken leg – you name it – and I’ve learned that looks really don’t matter. Your soul shines. I was blatantly stripped and still accepted. I learned to love and appreciate every moment in life more.

Your family and close friends, including Dianne Buswell, feature heavily in the documentary. Can you tell us a little about what their support has meant to you this past year?

And you know what, you really learn who your true friends and family are during this time, and I’m so lucky to have the best. Knowing when they should give me a hug or smile at me and make me smile, it helps with being sick. They know you inside out and to have that support and that network around you, I’m forever grateful. I don’t think I can pay them back.

Lastly, what do you hope viewers will take away from the film?

I believe that through fertility treatment, it educates and helps people. There are so many women out there getting treatment and I want them to know they are not alone. Let people understand the pressures couples face to have children, it is not always easy and impossible. Online trolling, to educate trollers. But most importantly, people need to check themselves. You know your own body, and it doesn’t even have to be a lump in your chest. If something doesn’t feel right, go to your doctor. Early detection can save lives. If you don’t check, who will?